Fear of Failure.
The money arrived wrapped in santana leather, crumpled from passing through many hands. Moma and Popa had sent it. It is contributions from brothers, sisters and even the niece at home. Uloko, I held it and thought, I cannot fail. Not because failure would kill me, but because it would undo them. This is the fear I want to talk about.
As humans, we always have needs, desires, aspirations and ambitions. But just like life, the result of our actions and/or inactions is a function of the probability of success or failure. By success, I mean the achievement of one's goal or aim, and failure as the inability to meet a set goal or objective. Our approach and reaction to these possible outcomes is subjective. While some overcome their fear and proceed, others are held back from taking action. We say it's because of fear, the "Fear of Failure".
I speak of the anxiety of not meeting expectations which can hold people back from taking risks, pursuing goals or even trying something new. Some of us fear to not disappoint others, we fear to not lose our confidence, sometimes we're just afraid because we are uncertain of the possible outcome of our aspiration.
Oftentimes, we hear people advise us to not be scared of failing. That failure is part of the process when it's experienced. But I like to think that the pressure to succeed can serve as a motivating factor.
Of course, fear can suffocate; I mean, I have seen it do so. But I have also seen it sharpen. The difference, I think, lies in whether we let it cage us or challenge us.
A student from a not so influential family, whose family members do fundraising among themselves to come up with his fee, should be scared of failing his family. If he fails, he failed himself, his family, and rubbished their efforts. But if he fears failure and tightens his belt, and doubles his efforts to do well in his CAs and exams, and he eventually succeeds in the end, I say the fear of failure (his sole motivating factor) has definitely led to his success.
The fear of undoing others is one kind. But there's another more quiet kind, the fear of failing oneself.
A student who feels timid to speak in class or public gatherings, if mandated to present a seminar on a given topic, she arranges her pots, plates, chairs and other utensils in her hostel corner and begins to present to these items as though they are humans, then advances to discussing it among her coursemates, and eventually gives a stellar performance on the D day before her lecturers. This student was motivated by the fear of losing her confidence and/or fear of possible outcome, I call it "Fear of Failure". But she didn't let it to hold her back, she confronted her fears, she overcame, and she was successful.
In all, many of us experience varying degrees of this fear in our respective areas of life, it is unhealthy if we let it stop us from achieving our goals, especially when it is a positive and impactful one. Let it be a motivating factor for us to not leave any stone untouched in the process of trying to chase our dreams.
Fear should not cage us, it should challenge us.
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