Marriage Is a Selection And Choice :03

 




Among the rational Islamic instructions regarding selecting a future wife is preferring virgins to women who were married before. This is because the Virgin is disposed to intimacy and familiarity with her first husband, contrary to the woman who was married before, since she may not find intimacy or love with her second husband. But the Virgin loves her husband, and does not long for another man, because he knew nobody but him.


Aisha (Allah be pleased with her) made all these clear when she said to the prophet (PBUH), according to Al Bukhari, 'O messenger of Allah, if you were in a valley with two trees. One was eaten from, and the other was not eaten from, of which would you let your camel graze? He(PBUH) said; At the one which was not eaten from. She said; that is me'.


She meant to point her precedence over his other wives, since she was the sole virgin wife he married. Indeed, the selection of a virgin is desirable unless there was a serious reason for marrying a deflowered woman, as in the case of a widower or divorced man who is looking for a woman (wife) to look after his house and bring up his children.


Al Bukhari and Muslim narrated the dialogue that took place between the prophet (PBUH) and Jabir on their way back from the expedition of Dhat -al-Riqa, as the prophet said to him (O Jabir, have you you gotten married?) He replied; yes, he asked A virgin or a deflowered woman? He replied; a deflowered woman. He asked; why not a virgin so that you may play with her and she with you? He replied; O messenger of Allah, my father was killed in the battle of Uhud and left seven girls, so I married a deflowered woman to gather them around her and look after them. The prophet (PBUH) said; You did the right thing, Allah's willing.


NB: Al Bikr (virgin) in this context refers to a woman that has never been married. Since there's no room for intimacy before nikah, every person who has never been married ought to maintain her virginity. While Ath Thayyib in this context is a woman who has been married before, she already knows intimacy.


® Ahmed Salim Jn ✍️ (RCHP)



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